Wednesday, March 21, 2012

VAPORTRIM - MILK CHOCOLATE & PINA COLADA



You know, I'm not really certain how to classify this product.  I mean, it's not really food.  I suppose you could call it a food replacement, or something like that, but that doesn't really feel right either.

According to the website, Vaportrim is a "revolutionary" weight loss product that allows you to puff away the pounds by inhaling the flavor of your favorite desserts through one of these pretty straw things.  The idea is that your sense of smell and taste are so closely connected, that if you are exposed to the smell of food, your body sends signals to the brain to tell your stomach that it isn't hungry anymore. 

Or something.

I don't know, it's scientific and I don't really understand it, but what I get out of the whole thing is that you are supposed to inhale the contents of the tube and you'll get the taste and aroma of whatever flavor Voportrim tube you have and it's supposed to make you not want to eat sweets.

I came across a mention of this product the other day (don't remember where, exactly) and I decided immediately that I must have it!  I didn't know what it was, I had never heard of it before, but I didn't just want to try it, I needed to try it.  It was a compulsion that makes no sense, but here I am!

OK, that's a lie.  I completely understand why I wanted it.  I'm supposed to be trying to lose weight and honestly, with the exception of hardcore drugs or surgery, I'm willing to try almost anything.  Seriously, one of my biggest weaknesses is sweets.  I love, love, love all kinds of desserts (hence the trying to lose weight thing) and if I could suck on a stick for a few minutes and lose that craving, I was all for trying it. Wow, that sounded pornier than I intended. Sorry.

I ordered the product from the website (this post isn't sponsored, by the way. But hell, if they want to send me a box of these things and let me review each flavor separately, I'd certainly do it.) and got it in an admirably short amount of time.  I suppose I should mention that these things are a bit on the expensive side.  Each tube costs $9.95, which seems like kind of a lot.  I mean, I don't exactly know how the technology works, and who knows, maybe it's expensive technology, but still...it seems like a lot of money for something you can't even chew. Well, I mean, you can chew on it, but that's not how it works. But, I digress.

I ordered two flavors, Milk Chocolate and Pina Colada, because those flavors sounded safe.  By safe I mean that they seemed like something you could genuinely suck through a straw.  I thought it best not to start off with something like a cupcake or pancake flavored one until I got my bearings on how it worked and what they were first. Each straw is about the size and shape of those skinny cigars you can buy at convenience stores.  The ingredients on each box were identical: FCC Grade Vegetable Glycerin, Natural Flavors, Artificial Flavors, and Citric Acid.  I'd find that kind of odd, but they can do some amazing things with flavorings these days, so I wasn't too concerned.  I waited until a time when I was hungry, to make sure if it really worked or not, I uncapped the first one, and took a puff.

MILK CHOCOLATE FLAVOR:  My first impression was that I couldn't taste much of anything. After waiting a moment, I got a faint hint of chocolate, kind of like when you open a box of Ovaltine and some of the powder wafts up and you breathe it in.  It's not a strong taste, but it is noticeable.  The milk chocolate flavor does have a rather artificial tang to it, but it's not off putting or anything.  I suppose if you aren't getting to eat the real stuff, even a hint of the artificial stuff is welcome.

PINA COLADA FLAVOR:  When I opened the box, I could smell the coconut flavoring before I even popped the end off.  It reminded me of one of those scratch and sniff stickers that were popular when I was a kid.  It smelled artificial, but again, not off putting.  The taste was actually pretty good!  It was still kind of faint, but more pronounced than the milk chocolate flavor.  It actually reminded me of eating macaroons instead of drinking a pina colada, but I'm totally ok with that.  The coconut flavor is most pronounced, but there is definitely a sort of acidic taste that follows on the heels of it that hints at pineapple.  It's actually not bad at all, even though the flavor isn't very strong.

For both flavors I did get an odd after-taste that I can't really explain.  It's kind of acrid, but nothing a mint or a sip of water wouldn't take care of.

You want to know the neatest, most awesome thing about the Vaportrim tubes, though?  It's that you inhale the flavors, and you exhale a thick water vapor that floats around your head like cigarette smoke.  As I've mentioned on this site before, I don't smoke, but I still get kind of a little thrill by sitting in my chair and puffing on the tube and blowing the water vapor out.  Even though that part is mentioned on the website, I didn't understand what they meant, so breathing out a cloud of vapor was kind of surprising.  I think the Vaportrim system works kind of like those electronic cigarettes, but instead of nicotine, you're getting flavors.  Anyways, it was cool.  I know I'm a bit old to find that part fun, but I don't care.  Don't judge me.

My final verdict?  I didn't think it would work, but after taking a few puffs off of these I actually didn't feel as hungry as I did before.  Did it wipe out my hunger all together?  No, but I felt as if I were to get something to eat, I could settle for something smaller or less sweet.  Would I buy these again?  I'm not sure.  I think I'd like to try all of the flavors to see how accurate they are, and I like the product and the fact that they honestly seem to curb my hunger, but they cost just a bit too much.  I suppose I might buy one again sometime, but I'd have to wait a while to justify the cost.

Now, here is the clincher...do I recommend them?  Sure!  I mean, it is a bit "faddy" and it might not be for everyone, but I'd totally recommend that you try one.  If you get those little annoying hunger gnaws at odd times, it's a quick way to curb them, even if it doesn't squash them completely.  Every little bit helps, after all.

I do want to make one thing very clear, though. Vaportrim isn't going to suddenly keep you from actually wanting real, wonderful, sweet, solid foods.  There are no drugs or stimulants in this product that will cause you to lose weight without some work on your part. What Vaportrim does is give you an edge on being able to say no to those things by giving you a booster shot of flavors and aromas that might help you understand that your cravings are more emotional than physical.  They are a push in the right direction, not an Amtrak train to skinny town.  Don't expect miracles!

SERVING SIZE: About 5 puffs.
CALORIES:0
CARBS: 0
TASTE: Well...it all depends on the tube you order, I suppose!