Chillout - Natural Calming Drink

Since I decided to try the "Pure Energy" natural energy drink, I also decided that I should get its opposite number, Chillout.

Yes, I crave symmetry in my life!  

After tasting the puce weirdness of the energy drink, I have to tell you, I kept this can in the fridge for much longer than I probably would have done otherwise.  Had I loved the other product, I would have probably drunk this one the same day in some kind of natural foods type of addiction process - the energy drink to wake me up, the calming drink to bring me down.  Alas, since I was scared I'd have to deal with more kombucha or puce tasting drinks, I let this one kind of get shoved to the back of the fridge for a while.

However, one night I just decided to buckle down and drink it.  After all, I could just pour it out or throw it away if I didn't like it, right?  There isn't some all observant grandmother who patrols the universe and tuts at you if you throw away perfectly good food and drinks.  Right?  RIGHT?!

At first sip, I kind of flinched, expecting that weird wine-juice-tea flavor of the energy drink, but thankfully, that didn't happen.  It was really very subtle as a matter of fact.  It wasn't bad at all, and if I had to make one negative statement about the taste, it's that I almost couldn't taste anything.  It had a soft, citrusy, slightly herbal flavor that had to build up over a matter of sips before you could really taste it completely.

The can says that it contains Chamomile, Valerian, Lemon Balm, Vitamins and something called "Fruit Up" which is a "natural fruit sweetener, extracted entirely from fruits with no added chemicals or additives."  Fruit Up also seems to have a Glycemic Index of 34, but I don't know what that means and I'm too lazy to research it.  I'm guessing Fruit Up is glucose with a copywritten name.  I dunno.

As for the effects, I wasn't exactly anxious or anything before drinking it, so I didn't notice a calming effect from it.  In fact, I went to bed soon after drinking this and had trouble sleeping.  I can't imagine why, unless it was because it contained Vitamin B6 and B12, which I've always thought were to give you energy and have seen on products helping you to stay awake. Again, I dunno, I'm not a food scientist.  Perhaps you can actually sit down with the B Vitamins and delegate them to different jobs as you see fit.

Anyway, the taste was nice and pleasing, and I didn't fall into a coma of any kind from the calming effect, so I'm going to give this drink a thumbs up.  I do not, however, recommend this as an actual calming potion for anyone.  My experience was that it didn't have any kind of affect on me other than as a beverage, so if you are uptight and anxious, or if the voices in your head are telling you that you need to murder the family next door, let me recommend Lorazepam or Paxil.  Both are available from your friendly neighborhood doctor, or the mental health professional of your choice.

Oh, and in case you're curious...this drink tasted lavender.

WEBSITE- www.ExDrinks.com

SERVING SIZE: 1 Can
CALORIES:80
CARBS:  15g
TASTE: Pleasant, citrusy and herbal.  Also, lavender.

VIRGIL'S ZERO REAL COLA

Wow. 

This.  I almost don't know what to say about this.  I'll just work my way around...

I love to try new drinks and sodas, I really do.  I will buy a new kind of soda, or heck, even a slightly altered flavor of soda I'm already familiar with, in a heartbeat.  I've even been known to buy soda simply because the bottle was interesting.  I can't help it.  It's like some kind of sick compulsion. 

Most of the time I'm pleasantly surprised by the types of drinks I come across.  Yes, some of them have been too sweet, some weren't sweet enough, and I've found a few I haven't liked very much, but on the whole, there are very few kinds that I've encountered that I've found completely undrinkable. Even the ones I don't care for, I usually tough out by drinking them with meals or something that takes away from the taste.  What I'm saying, is that I can usually finish off most of whatever it is I've bought.

Until today.  Dear baby Jesus...today.

I picked up a bottle of Virgil's Zero Real Cola while on a trip to Earth Fare.  If you aren't familiar with the store, I'd describe it as a big, organic market for rich hippies. There are all kinds of interesting things to buy and taste there, so I love my infrequent visits because the stock has usually been rotated and I always come away with something new.  The drinks aisle is this wonderland of organic, unusual sodas.  They are generally national brands, but nothing so "pedestrian" as Coke or Dr. Pepper.  One thing I've noticed, is that a lot of these drinks are not sweetened with sugar.  They have different kinds of sugar-alternatives, generally, which is bad for me because I don't like most alternative sweeteners.  Anything artificial, and I'm gagging at the bitterness of it.  Anything natural, but not sugar, has this weird...planty taste to me.  I can't explain it any better than that.  They taste planty.  Now, I know sugar also comes from plants, but it doesn't taste planty, it just tastes sweet.  That's the beauty of sugar, though, I guess.

But I digress. 

I picked up the soda because I've had other kinds of Virgil's soda and liked it just fine.  It isn't one of my go-to brands, but I have enjoyed the stuff that we've bought in the past.  I was excited to see the "Zero" cola, because I enjoy Coke Zero and thought that a artisan soda with no calories would be awesome!  I tend to like artisan cola drinks, because you can usually taste the different kinds of flavorings more clearly than you can with Coke or Pepsi.  Maybe it's just me. 

Well, I decided to try this soda while I was eating my dinner, thinking that even if it wasn't the best thing, I could still drink it without a problem.  Unfortunately, I had overestimated my ability to soldier through untried sodas.

My first (and honestly, my only) sip of Virgil's Zero Real Cola began with the surprised thought of "Oooh! Cinnamon! I like cinnamon!" and ended with "Holy God, what evil beast expelled this bile from its most foul orifice?!"  I couldn't drink anymore of it.  I simply couldn't.  It was disgusting.  It was bitter and it coated my mouth and throat with it's taste.  I wish I could be more specific than that, but I couldn't drink anymore.  I ran to the kitchen and immediately poured it down the sink.  You may not think it's fair to review a soda that I barely tasted, but I am only being honest here.  I have never, ever tasted anything like that before, and if God loves me, I will never have to taste anything like that again. 

Honestly, I think it was the stevia leaf extract that was the cause of my problems.  I checked all of the other ingredients, and they are all familiar to me.  Stevia I've only had a few times, and each time I've been less than impressed at whatever it is in.  My apologies to Reeds inc. for my feelings about their product, but damn...  I've had lots of products from that company, and none of the others has sent me running towards the sink in a blind panic.  If I can come across a version of Virgil's Cola without the stevia, I'd love to try it to see if the regular kind is any better, but I don't want to drink this version of it ever, ever again.  Do not want.

WEBSITE- Virgil's
SERVING SIZE: 1 Bottle
CALORIES: 0
CARBS: 0
TASTE: Bad. BADBADBAD!